Be Still

Today was truly an unexpectedly and profoundly amazing day. I knew it would be such a nice respite from the daily grind. I'm not complaining about the daily grind- it's good, and I am hugely blessed as a stay home mommy and I know that. Every part of my being knows that- and I often thank God for giving me the desires of my heart.

I have been looking forward to this day for a few days now. I got up this morning and was feeling a little guilty about sending the kids off with my husband to Rochester for Andrew's travel basketball tournament and having the entire day and night and a big chunk of tomorrow ALONE. I thought about this some and came to the realization it had been over 12 years since I have done that. I have had trips with my husband, a business trip, womens retreats, mission trips, and we have had nice family trips, but ALONE? Nope not since college. And I graduated back in '98- so you do the math.

I started out the day at Urgent Care. Finally after over a moonth of ear pain I went in and had as I suspected a nice double ear infection going on. Got the Zithromax and filled the Rx. I must say I rather enjoyed being able to go to the Dr without kids in tow, I even brought a book. Imagine that- being able to read at Urgent Care. Simply doesn't happen. But today it did.
After that I went to the pharmacy and got a Vanilla Rooibos tea while I waited for the Rx. Another amazing thing: I walked out of Target with only having purchased a tea.

At this point, I have my meds and the WHOLE day before me. I felt like a kid in a candy shop. I decided to head over to Cleary Lake and walk around it. I usually don't go there with the kids because it's too far for Ariana's little legs to walk.

As I walked around the lake it was so quiet. It was so peaceful....and I was reminded of all the times I went there as a kid and the fun I had. It is still such a special place for me. The air was crisp and the sun bright. There were a few friendly walkers and runners on the path- maybe 5 people total. I took time to just listen to the leaves rustle in the trees and notice the winter beauty all around me.

Once my walk was complete, I was starting to feel a bit hungry and it was lunchtime. I got to decide where I would like to eat. I went to Valley Natural where I usually shop for our groceries. This time I went alone. If you want a wonderful shopping experience- try going without your kids. It is so amazing to just go in get what you want, take your time, and not have it be a blur where you are rushing through as fast as you can all the while chasing after your preschool children and answering a bazillion questions. At the checkout I must have looked quite peaceful (probably the first time EVER) because the cashier says and I quote, "What's the deal with you?" I was confused. Then it hit me he was not used to seeing a calm Amy at the store. "I'm kid free!"(and it's written all over my face)I said.

After lunch- (which was AMAZING)....I just have to tell you what I had. Chicken salad wrapped in Red Bibb Hydroponic lettuce topped with sprouted beans, organic red grapes, some smokies almonds and a little honey greek yogurt. Oh yeah and an oatmeal fudge bar from the bakery case. I didn't make any of it and didn't have to clean up any dishes either:)

After lunch I felt another walk around another lake was in order. I went to another favorite spot: Jensen Lake at Lebanon Hills not too far from home. This was after a quick stop for a Chai tea warm up.

The trails are snow covered at Jensen lake and the sound of crunching snow was lovely. It inspired me to actually get those pair of snow shoes I have been wanting so long now. As I walked I took it all in again, and I felt the stresses and pressures start to fade once again. My mind started to clear of my build up from the week. I felt with every step less and less care. It was like it was just slipping away and all I had now was crunching snow, sunshine, and rusting leaves. And when I stopped walking at times it was completely silent except for an occasional bird. It was during this time that I realized that I NEED this. I need to break away to quiet places and just be alone with nature and God.

Somehow during the course of having kids, working, getting married, and becoming a stay home mommy I forgot what really soothes my soul more than anything: alone time in nature...

It's there that I feel calm, grounded, and closest to my creator. I feel safe, secure, happy, content, rejuvenated, alive.

It's no surprise I love to run, hike,cc ski, snowshoe, camp, etc... I love the solitude and always have.

This is not rocket science, but I learned a valuable lesson today. It was this: whatever restores you and brings you peace in this busy and hectic world- find time to do it! Don't get so lost in your work whatever that may be that you forget what really restores you. Maybe you don't need a quiet stroll in nature like I do, but there is something that you need. Don't try to fill it with something else and think that will meet it. I thought the times I had an hour or two alone was good enough, a long bath while reading a book was good enough, or a trip to the store alone was good enough...but it wasn't.

I have found I needed a day to just be me, to get out in nature and loose track of the time, schedules, and "to do" lists.

I almost feel like a new person. Tonight I am going to run on the treadmill and crank up the music loud. Then I am taking a long shower until the hot water runs out...and nobody's gonna need a thing from me. I won't need to convince my daughter to go to bed or do any checking of homework or bedtime stories.

I love my life I really do. I am a very blessed lady who adores my family. I did however learn a big lesson today. It's ok to take a day off. it's ok to let your spouse or significant other take over for a day. It's actually quite therapeutic and helps to restore and renew you, so that you can get back into it fresh and with a new outlook and perspective.

We can't forget in the mist of all we do as people and parents to take care of ourselves, and that includes really giving yourself time and the freedom to nuture yourself- however that may look.